Nickelodeon’s Marketing Sucks

Whoever works in marketing at Nickelodeon should lose their degrees, be fired, and be forced to watch, non-stop, hour after hour of shitty modern Nicktoons. I say this because they’re all blind. Somehow, they’ve never noticed the demand for Nicktoons on DVD. Remember how Family Guy killed in sales numbers once it was cancelled and put on DVD? Put Hey Arnold, Angry Beavers, Rugrats on DVD and watch the money pile up. Nickelodeon: Your Marketing Blows.

There’s a lot of talk among people my age about those classic cartoons on Nick and how the network has gone to shit. It’s not because we got older, it’s because the ideas and writing is so dismal compared to what it was in the 90’s.

Look, I get that running a TV station is about staying current and fresh with the upcoming generations of kids. Humor changes through the years as do the kids but Nickelodeon has completely forgotten one demographic: past viewers who grew up.

I don’t watch Nick anymore but I (like many of you) would go out and buy the complete series of Hey Arnold on DVD the day it comes out. I would drop $40 for my favorite shows that I watched relentlessly growing up. Just because you retired Nicktoons from your lineup, Nick, doesn’t mean that they should be gone forever. Put them on DVD, it’s a goldmine just waiting to be tapped.

Please Nickelodeon, let your viewers who haven’t watched since Catdog and Spongebob took over the network relive the glory of your network and their childhoods. Give us the cartoons that we loved, the ones that were actually funny. You like money, don’t you? Well I just got paid and I’d love to drop the cash in your pockets. Give me some Doug Funnie! I miss him.